This is the 'Are you a penguin?' quiz. It is on the 'Fun' page. - C. A. Broadribb.

Are You A Penguin?

Originally written in August 1995.
Developed to raise the level of self-awareness amongst members of the penguin community.
Also to promote silliness and lunacy everywhere.

Many people may be penguins without knowing it. To find out if you are one of them, please answer the following questions with 'yes' or 'no'.

  1. Do you have webbed feet?
  2. Do you wear mainly black and white?
  3. Do you have a great fondness for fish?
  4. Do you like to hide in the freezer in summer?
  5. Do you prefer ice skating to roller skating?
  6. Do you have an unreasonable fear of walruses?
  7. Is your home decorated primarily in white?
  8. Do you have an indoor swimming pool?
  9. Would you prefer to go on holiday to Anarctica than to Hawaii?
  10. Are you small and cute?

If you answered 'no' to every question, there is no possibility that you are a penguin.

If you answered 'yes' to one to six questions, you might be a penguin.

If you answered 'yes' to seven or more of the questions, there is a strong possibility that you are a penguin. Consult a qualified squawkologist to find out.